My understanding & how i see many things is very different these days. I try to stay positive in a situation I never thought I would be in. I wasn’t with my family, the most important thing in the world to me. More than that, my reason for just being.
I believed “for better or worse” when I said it the day I got married. Although i wouldn’t call myself religious, I am an absolute and true believer in Gods existence. So something as important as making a vow & asking ‘Him’ to recognise it, I took seriously.
As my life spiralled further out of control in so many forms of self-destructive behaviours, move forward 10 years and i was in a deep, dark depression of the unspeakable. I battled to survive & I did some shit things in order to do so.
Years of miscommunication, misunderstanding, feelings of hopelessness from both of us, I separated from my wife. Emotionally first, then finally physically when she closed the door one night & told me not to come back.
My life would never be the same and was about to take me to places of loneliness that has no words, darkness & overwhelming sadness.
There have been some tough times. I can tell you that. But apart from some really dark moments, I basically survived to a point where i can at least breathe. In and Out. One day at a time. 1 week at a time. Its all i can do but it wasnt thst long ago that i couldnt even see this day for us.